February 2012
“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the...”
– Anais Nin (via wordsthat-speak)
2 tags
2 tags
2 tags
Me: *turns on radio*
Taylor Swift: feels feels feels revenge slut-shaming more feels you broke my heart and now I'm making a catchy country tune about it yeah yeah yeah acoustic guitar
Bruno Mars: suicidal thoughts and plaid and war zones and gratuitous morphine use pain angst hurt for some reason all my songs involve me unnecessarily dying for you
Rihanna: no one cares what I'm singing about but you can assume it's a shitty metaphor for sex while I gyrate in little to no clothing on fake animals but at least it's stupidly catchy
Every single rap artist: bitches hoes in da club lots of money she wants the dick all these songs are about clubbing and sex and does anyone honestly live this lifestyle outside of music videos
Nicki Minaj: hkjhkjhcw fweljfhwjhddljhd hfojencojen nieukjdh lots of fast talking in a weird accent ha ha ha pop culture reference I'm a feminist with lots of wigs and in case you haven't noticed BIG BOOBS I don't even know what I'm rapping about lol
Jason Derulo: JASSSSOOOONNNN DEEERRRULLLOOOO
Me: *turns off radio*
demolished:
what happened to tumblr omfg
J.K. Rowling's new book.
laughliberally:
1 tag
Saw a teaser of "Unbreakable Spirit" with Crystal...
She’s beautiful.
2 tags
So I tell him that my favorite tea mug broke and...
“Awww
she lived a good life. We’ll give her a good funeral. I can set up everything but I need you to decide something. You want it open or closed casket? We gonna make her real nice, put some superglue on her, maybe clean her up with a little 409. Make it look real classy lol”.
“Okay, you a killa..right.
And Ms Cleo’s Jamaican,
and Bob Marley is Haitian,...”
– This guy.
Cole world.
(via afootahead)
Conversation with God
Me: God can I ask you a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise u won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late,
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start,
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait,
God: Huummmm...
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.....
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed).........
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrasses): Ok
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad.
Me: I will trust you
God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children......
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55: 8
Whenever I eat something delicious and can't stop...
Need a laugh? Click here!
